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College Students Kelsey Torgerson Dunn College Students Kelsey Torgerson Dunn

Anxious Parenting Series Week 7 - Out of the Nest: Parenting Your Anxious College Student

Anxiety disorders are a huge concern in college.

Stress disorders, self-harm, overwhelm and depression all become big concerns in college due to a couple of different factors: age, brain development, and the stress and independence that go hand in hand with starting college.

And rather than you being able to monitor any big changes in your student, you’re not there.

You only hear and know as much as they want to tell you. Whether you have serious concerns, or you just feel like you’re out of the loop, it’s tough to parent your college student and feel like you’re actually having an impact.

Parents will often reach out to me about their new college students, sharing concerns like:

  • My college student never calls!

  • I’m worried my college student has anxiety and depression.

  • I’m not sure if my college student can manage stress.

  • Is my college student depressed/anxious/too angry/too overwhelmed?

  • And the ultimate concern: I don’t know how to help my college student deal with everything that’s going on.

It’s tough to figure out how to parent and deal with these concerns when your student no longer lives in your house. And even if you’ve noticed signs of anxiety in the past, the game plan can be so different when your child is in college vs. when they were at home.

So what can you do?

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College Students, Teens Kelsey Torgerson Dunn College Students, Teens Kelsey Torgerson Dunn

Perfectionism in High School and College: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Perfectionism isn’t always a good thing.

You probably hear that a lot already, but your brain is telling you, “Well… perfectionism helps me do well in school. Perfectionism means I only turn in the best work. Perfectionism means that I care.” And your brain is probably right!

Perfectionism probably does feel like it makes you a better student.

Perfectionism is doing a lot of other not so good things, as well.

At the same time, perfectionism can feel helpful.

When you have a high drive to succeed, perfectionism feels like it helps you turn in the best work possible. You know that you have to do your best. You criticize every small mistake you make, which means you won’t make those mistakes ever again - right?

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College Students Kelsey Torgerson Dunn College Students Kelsey Torgerson Dunn

Time Management for College Students: How to Beat Procrastination

Why is an anxiety specialist talking time management?

Unsurprisingly, college students with anxiety really need help when it comes to time management. Often, they flip from task to task, and quickly become overwhelmed with trying to do everything at the same time. Or, they start to procrastinate because they don’t want to engage in this anxiety-provoking task.

Procrastination and avoidance are okay.

In fact, they’re totally normal! It’s just your body and brain’s way of trying to take care of you.

The problem is, procrastination can get really out of hand, really quickly. It can cause you to miss simple assignments and doubt your preparedness for college and the real world.

That’s why today we’re talking:

3 Top Tips for College Time Management

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Kelsey Torgerson Dunn Kelsey Torgerson Dunn

Substance Use and Anxiety Counseling with Madeline Seim Leitner at Collective Wellness LLC

Substance Use/Abuse/Dependency and anxiety often go hand in hand.

Sometimes, teens and adults with anxiety try to self-medicate with substances. Other times, your substance dependency can lead to significant stress and anxiety. Whether anxiety has led to your abuse or vice versa, it’s crucial to work with a therapist trained in substance use. This is where Maddie Leitner, MSW, LCSW comes in.

Similar to my passion for working with anxiety and perfectionism for kids, teens, and college students, Maddie focuses her work on two areas she’s passionate about: substance use and anxiety, and the link between the two. It was a pleasure to interview her, and i’m so excited for you to learn more about her work!

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Teens Kelsey Torgerson Dunn Teens Kelsey Torgerson Dunn

Starting the School Year Off Right

When you're looking down the road at another school year, fast approaching, you may be experiencing anxiety. For those of us with more anxious minds, our thoughts start spinning on to "what else can I do, what's coming next, what do I have to worry about, what is going to go wrong this year..."

That's stressful!

So what can you do about it? …

So, here are some tips for starting the school year off right.

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Kelsey Torgerson Dunn Kelsey Torgerson Dunn

Setting Goals for College

Here you are, preparing for the big move: COLLEGE.

And this year is going to be different. You're excited about your coursework, you’re jazzed about meeting new people your age (yes, I'm the kind of lame therapist who uses words like "jazzed"), and you're pumped (also, "pumped") about all of the exciting new opportunities and challenges coming your way.

You've got goals! And plans! So how do you actually follow through on them in college?

Have SMART goals: make sure your resolution is specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely.

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Tips for Teens: Dealing With the End of Summer Blues

Summer's over, yet again...

And the end of summer can lead to some blue feelings, especially for the start of the school year (highschool, college, even graduate school). And while there can be excitement at the start of the new school year, it can be hard to deal with the anxiety.

Typically, the teens and college students I work with tell me they worry about a more busy schedule, more expectations put on them by parents and teachers, or just knowing that there's less time to fit in impromptu socializing with friends. 

What are some ways you could combat the anxiety and sadness that comes with summer ending? Read more here…

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College Students Kelsey Torgerson Dunn College Students Kelsey Torgerson Dunn

5 Time Management Tips for College Students

Unsurprisingly, college students with anxiety really need help when it comes to time management. Often, they flip from task to task, and quickly become overwhelmed with trying to do everything at the same time. So, below you'll find a few tips. Please reach out with follow up questions.

5 Tips for Time Management (click to read more!)

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Kelsey Torgerson Dunn Kelsey Torgerson Dunn

Knowing That It's Time to Break Up

As an anxiety specialist who loves to work with high achieving highschool and college students, you'd expect most of my session time to be focused on anxiety management strategies.

Which is definitely true. That is a big component of my work. But the fact of the matter is, even when you have anxiety, even if that anxiety is overwhelming... you have a whole life outside of that anxiety, too. 

So, sometimes we talk about how to handle a panic attack, and sometimes we talk about why your boyfriend sucks.

Both are important to your well-being. 

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Tips for Teens Kelsey Torgerson Dunn Tips for Teens Kelsey Torgerson Dunn

Tips for Teens: The Hardest Part About Being a Teenage Girl

I tend to work a lot with high performing teenage girls, who may be academically successful with good involvement in extra curriculars, while simultaneously suffering from severe anxiety and perfectionist tendencies. So what's the hardest part about being a teenage girl? Well... a few things. Including: Your expectations for yourself, people who think you're self-involved, and an ever-expanding to do list. Read more in this week's post!

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Tips for Teens Kelsey Torgerson Dunn Tips for Teens Kelsey Torgerson Dunn

Tips for Teens: Feedback Informed Treatment (OR: How to Find the Right Therapist for You)

Interested in counseling? You should make sure your therapist is willing to get your feedback.

One of the things I do as an LCSW is incorporate my clients' feedback into session. At the start of each session, I have my client tell me how their week was, how stuff has been with family and friends, how work/school has been, and an overall score for the week on a 1 to 10 scale. I want to make sure that things are staying the same or improving for my clients week to week, because that's how we can track if I'm an effective fit for them. This is called an "Outcome Rating Scale."

Step 2: Let your therapist know how THEY'RE doing. Even if that's uncomfortable...

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