Tips for Teens: The Hardest Part About Being a Teenage Girl

I tend to work a lot with high performing teenage girls, who may be academically successful with good involvement in extra curriculars, while simultaneously suffering from severe anxiety and perfectionist tendencies.

So what's the hardest part about being a teenage girl? Well... a few things. Including:

Your expectations for yourself.

Especially if these cause you anxiety. Many teens I work with have so many great goals for themselves - college, Doctors Without Borders, peace corps, building a new social justice org. The flip side: these goals can become so important that a small perceived failure or challenge can feel catastrophic, and you're left projecting that one bad grade on one assignment in one class means you're no longer on track with anything. 

People who think you're self-involved.

Every teen girl I've ever worked with is very aware of their place in the world and how they want to influence the environment around them, to build a better school, community, city, etc.

On top of that, I've found that a lot of the teenage girls I work with are so empathetic to their friends around them - and sometimes, they take on their friends' stress as much as their own, leading to yet another responsibility to add to your huge list.

So when I work with adults, teacher, or parents who think their daughter is totally self-involved, I try and help them take a step back and see what else may be going on. 

Doing it all.

As a business owner and counselor, I'm often stuck with a huge list of goals and projects for myself - which is exactly the same thing I did as a teenage girl.

I wish I knew then how to build in time for relaxation, mindfulness, and yoga. Taking a break from that drive/anxiety makes it easier to stay on track with your goals, without overwhelming yourself. 

Curious to hear more about how to manage all of the stress? Counseling may be the right next step. You can contact Kelsey at to hear more about her practice. Kelsey specializes in anxiety and anger management from age 4 through college, building anxiety tips and tools for teens. Her office is located in Webster Groves, and  she works with clients around the St. Louis, MO area, including Brentwood, Webster Groves, Town and Country, Creve Couer, Ladue, and Clayton.