When Scary Is Too Scary: Helping Kids Cope with Halloween Anxiety

Halloween can be a time of fun, dress-up, and memory making. But for some children, especially those who struggle with anxiety, Halloween can feel overwhelming or sometimes even frightening.

At Compassionate Counseling St. Louis, we know that it’s not uncommon for some children to experience anxiety, uncertainty, and fear around Halloween. While ghosts, skeletons, and spooky music may be exciting for some, they can feel a little too real and scary to an anxious child.

If October is a hard month for your child, know that you are not alone and that there are ways to help.

Image Credit: Unsplash Taylor Kopel @taylorkopel

Why Halloween Feels Scary For Some Kids

Halloween can be full of play, candy and fun, but it can also come with a lot of elements that can feel unpredictable and overwhelming for children with anxiety. Some of the most common challenges include:

• Costumes and Masks: Seeing people, even family, dressed up in scary or unrecognizable ways can be confusing for children. Masks that cover faces remove emotional cues, which can make it harder for kids to feel safe.

• Crowds and Chaos: Trick-or-treating often means noisy streets full of strangers, loud voices, and flashing lights. For kids sensitive to sensory input or social situations, this can be exhausting.

• Startling Sounds and Images: Sometimes Halloween decorations include sudden noises, creepy music, or animatronics that pop up unexpectedly. For a child with anxiety, these surprises can set off a stress response that’s hard to calm down from.

How You Can Help: CBT-Inspired Strategies

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a proven, well-researched, child-friendly approach to managing anxiety. It helps children understand their thoughts and feelings, and teaches skills to cope with anxiety and worries. At Compassionate Counseling St. Louis, our St. Louis therapist team specializes in using CBT combined with creative interventions that young kids can understand.

Here are some CBT strategies you can use at home to support your child this Halloween:

Name the Feeling

Start by validating their fear. You might say, "It makes sense that loud noises and costumes feel scary. A lot of kids feel that way." Naming the emotion helps a child feel seen and safe. As the founder of Compassionate Counseling St. Louis, Kelsey Dunn, MSW, LCSW, reminds us in her blog A Therapist’s Guide to Handling School Anxiety and School Refusal, you must name it to tame it.

You can even try getting creative to help your child express what is bringing up their feelings. Try drawing or writing out what parts of Halloween make them nervous. Compassionate Counseling St. Louis Registered Art Therapist, Erin Kirkpatrick, LPC reminds us that creative expression can help clients explore their inner world.

Shift the Thought

CBT teaches children that while they can’t always control what they feel, they can learn to notice and shift unhelpful thoughts.

If your child says, “That house is going to jump out at me!”, you can gently reframe it with, “That’s a decoration, not a real monster. Let’s look at it together from a distance.” Practicing “detective thinking” helps kids examine whether their fear matches what’s really happening.

Use a Coping Toolbox

Prepare a “coping plan” your child can use before and during Halloween activities. Some helpful tools include:

• Deep breathing ("Smell the pumpkin pie, blow out the candle")

• A comfort object (a small stuffed animal in their pocket)

• A code word they can use with you if they need a break

• Practicing ahead of time—trying on costumes, walking the neighborhood in daylight, or even visiting less-decorated houses first

Create Your Own Traditions

If traditional Halloween events are a bit too much this year, it’s okay to create a calmer version that feels right for your family. Host a cozy costume party at home with your families favorite snacks and movies - you might even choose a book to read from our blog Our Favorite Books Parents Can Enjoy with Their Kids at Home. Let your child dress as something silly or comforting. Visit a pumpkin patch during the day instead of trick-or-treating at night.

You’re Not Alone

Every child is different, and anxiety doesn’t mean your child is “too sensitive” or “missing out.” It means they’re trying to make sense of a world that can sometimes feel too big, too loud, or too unpredictable.

If you feel your child’s anxiety is getting in their way and you would like to get some help taming it, our team of St. Louis anxiety therapists are here to help.

Reach out today for a free 15 minute consultation call to learn more about how the team at Compassionate Counseling St. Louis can help your child cope with anxiety and how our St. Louis parent coaches can help you provide empathetic support to your child coping with anxiety.

Curious to learn more about counseling for anxiety and anxiety-driven anger? Wondering if Compassionate Counseling St. Louis could be a good fit for you or your child? Reach out to us at hello@compassionatecounselingstl.com. As child anxiety experts, we love working with kids, teens, college students and parents to help manage their anxiety, stress, and anger. Compassionate Counseling St. Louis is located in Clayton, MO and works with families by offering both in-person counseling and online therapy throughout St. Louis City, St. Louis County, Ladue, University City, Town and Country, Webster Groves, Creve Couer, Kirkwood, Richmond Heights, and Brentwood. We also provide online therapy Missouri -wide to teens and college students. You can set up your first free consult on this website, on our consultation page.