Progressive Muscle Relaxation Script
Originally published August 16, 2017; Updated May 18, 2022
Anxiety therapy for kids and teens with anger in St. Louis, MO
When you have a child with anxiety, or if you’re someone’s anxious child yourself, you know how anxiety can really cause a lot of tension in the body. Especially if you experience anxiety-driven anger.
Mindfulness and relaxation tools are important components of anxiety therapy and therapy for anger management issues.
It builds our emotional regulation skills and teaches us to be aware of our thoughts, or feelings, our behaviors. We can notice our experiences without automatically responding to them. And, by practicing relaxation skills when we are already calm, we're able to more quickly recall these skills in a frustrating moment.
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Sit, breathe, and notice.
These are the foundations of mindfulness. So for today, we’re going to build on these skills with some muscle work, bringing more awareness to our bodies.
If you’re using this PMR script with your child, or with a therapy client, please follow the instructions with them.
By demonstrating how to use this skills, you’re helping their mirror neurons attune to your own relaxed state - and you’re making relaxation a more acceptable thing! Everyone benefits.
Progressive muscle relaxation focuses on purposefully tensing and releasing each muscle group at a time. This is a great tool to use with kids at nighttime, in bed, because your child can really just sink into that relaxed space and, ideally, have an easier time falling asleep.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation script:
In a comfortable seated position, let your hands rest on your knees. Begin with a few deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth.
When you notice that your breath is slow and steady, and your heart feels calm, we'll move to a laying down position on your floor.
Laying down on the floor - or, if you're practicing this with your child before bedtime, laying on their bed - close your eyes.
First, begin with your toes.
Curl them up and tense your feet, like they're squishing in mud. Curl them tight, tight, tight for five, four, three, two, one... and then let them release.
Next, move to your legs.
Point your toes and tighten your calves for five, four, three, two, one… and then let those muscles relax. Feel how heavy those legs are now!
Then, we’re going to squeeze the backs of your thighs.
Tense them really tight for five, four, three, two, one... and let them loosen, noticing that big difference between tense and loose.
Tighten your stomach.
Make your stomach really tight tight tight, like you’re going to crunch up all those abs, for five, four, three, two, one… and then, ahhhh, let it relax.
Make your hands into tight fists, like you’re squeezing lemons for lemonade.
Hold those fists really, really tight for five, four, three, two, one… and then let all those fingers relax. You can even shake out your hands a little bit.
Squeeze your arms, nice and strong.
Make those arm muscles really tight and strong for five, four, three, two, one… and then let them relax.
Next, pull your shoulders up to your ears, like a turtle.
Make your shoulders really tense and tight for five, four, three, two, one… and then let your shoulders drop back down.
Let’s make your face really tight, just like you ate something sour.
Squish all of those facial muscles for five, four, three, two, one... let them relax.
Now we’re going to do all of your muscles, all at once. Ready?
Make all those muscles really really tight for five, four, three, hold it!,two, one… ahhh. Nice! Let all of them relax and let’s shake them all out. Feel free to stretch out any muscles that still feel a little tense. And then notice yourself reallllllly sinking into your body.
Check in questions (if it’s practice time, not bedtime):
How do your muscles feel now?
After progressive muscle relaxation, muscles probably feel more loose. This is a good sign that your body is calm and ready to relax. When your muscles are tight, it means our body is ready to react.
How does your heartbeat feel?
Does your heart feel really fast, or does it feel slow and steady? Our hearts usually let us know if our bodies are calm, or if our bodies are stressed out.
How did the muscle relaxation make your brain feel?
Sometimes our brains get really, really loud, especially when we’re feeling scared or angry. Did the progressive muscle relaxation make your brain feel quieter? This can be a good clue that your brain is feeling more calm, too!
Taking your relaxation skills to the next level.
This week, pay attention to when your muscles are tightening on their own accord, and if this happens when you're feeling stressed, frustrated, angry, or anxious. And while you may not have time to move to each muscle group on its own, focus on tensing and then relaxing those parts of your body.
Want more meditation scripts? Need more relaxation tips for anxious kids and teens?
Do I need anxiety therapy/does my child need anxiety therapy?
Progressive Muscle Relaxation is a great tool for anxiety management, but it doesn’t mean you have to just deal with anxiety on your own. You can always reach out to a therapist or counselor to talk more about your anxiety, figure out what else is going on underneath it, and build a really robust coping skills tool box, including meditation.
Spotlight on Art Therapist Susie McGaughey
Susie works with kids, teens, and parents on managing overwhelming emotions through relaxation skills building and art therapy techniques.
Kelsey Torgerson Dunn, LCSW is the author of When Anxiety Makes You Angry: CBT Skills for Teens With Anxiety-Driven Anger
Curious to hear more, or are you a little reluctant about counseling? Compassionate Counseling St. Louis provides specialized anxiety and anger management therapy for kids, teens, and college students. We work in Clayton, MO and serve kids, teens, and college students throughout St. Louis City, St. Louis County, Ladue, University City, Town and Country, Webster Groves, Creve Coeur, Kirkwood, Richmond Heights, and Brentwood. You can set up your free phone screening to see if we’re a good fit for your needs right on our website.