College is an overwhelming time for both you and your teen!

It can lead to a lot of anxiety and nerves. We interviewed several college prep counselors here in St. Louis. These counselors have worked directly with students, and have first hand experience in what it takes to get them ready for this major transition in their life.

We are so excited to kick off our College Readiness series by sharing our interview with Joann Elliot! Joann worked as a highschool college counselor for many years before opening College Counseling Tutoring in 2014. She is also the author of When to do What: A Step by Step Guide to the College Process and The Honeycomb Approach: 6 Factors to Finding Your College Fit. Read more below about her experiences working with high schoolers gearing up for their big transition to college and about her latest book.

Tips for call quality, what to cover, and how to get the most out of our time together.

Compassionate Counseling St. Louis always offers teletherapy options, including virtual video sessions and phone check ins, when you’re feeling sick and can’t make it into the office. Below we have a few suggestions to make sure your virtual session is as useful as can be.

How your picky eater may benefit from food therapy

Dealing with picky eaters as a parent can be difficult. From dinners at home to nights out with the family, it can seem like a daunting task to get your child to eat. But how do you know if that picky eating might be a sign of something else and your child might benefit from food therapy?

We reached out to Lisa Coosman, OTR/L, to discuss with us the ins and outs of feeding therapy and what it means for your child. She dives into what it takes to be an Occupational Therapist, what signs you should look for, and tips and tricks for best supporting a child with food aversions.

We see it coming every year. Our phones ring off the hook when spring time is on the horizon, as parents wonder how to prepare their anxious teen for college. Heading off to school can be an exciting time! But all of those new responsibilities, freedom, and big changes can also be overwhelming. We want to make sure that your teen is as prepared as possible!

Why is it important to start getting your teen ready for college now?

You might be thinking that you have plenty of time to ensure your teen is prepared for college. It’s only March! Your teen isn’t set to be on campus until mid August. What’s the rush?

Well, if you have an anxious teen, you know that preparing for something sooner rather than later is always a good idea. Having proper support in place early on, will make the transition for your teen seem more doable and approachable. Not to mention, it will also help lessen the overwhelm when they have an idea of what to expect and the change isn’t happening all at one time.

At one point or another, everyone will experience a loss or death - and some of us experience this in high school or college. So how do you deal with the aftermath?

There’s not one right way to get through this:

Many have heard of "the stages of grief": denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. However it's crucial to remember that this isn't a linear progression. You may move through stages in a different order. You may circle back. All of these feelings are acceptable, but allow yourself to recognize that there isn't a correct way or correct order to go through the aftermath of a death or loss in your life.

Both parents and kids can benefit from child psychological testing

It’s no secret that teens experience a lot of change. Starting new schools and meeting new people can be overwhelming. All of that change can make it hard to communicate how they're feeling, especially to their families. It’s important for teens to know that they aren’t alone in how they feel and it’s okay to be anxious!

Dr. Dan Weinstein, PsyD, helps people find their strength and accept who they are by utilizing CBT and elements of DBT. It’s his dedication to his patients (and his juggling skills!) that makes us so excited to have interviewed him for today’s blog! Please read more about his practice below!

Why did you choose to become a psychologist in St. Louis?

I am from St. Louis and I chose to be a psychologist because of my interest that began at age 9 with a family friend who was working on his Ph.D. in psychology at Wash. U.

It’s winter in St. Louis and, as happens every year, we’re getting more and more calls from anxious teens and college students concerned that they might have depression. 

Right off the bat, it’s important to know that we can’t diagnose depression just based on a few concerns or a phonecall. But it’s important to know that depression is on the rise for kids and teens, and depression is a serious mental illness. And, we can figure out some good next steps depending on what you’re noticing (which is why we schedule free 15-minute phone screenings if you’re wondering whether or not counseling is a good next step for you). 

Why do anxiety and depression go hand-in-hand?

Anxiety and depression can go hand in hand for many teens and college students. For some, one seems more apparent than the other and is more of the primary concern. For others, both seem to be equally impacting what’s going on.

Sometimes, anxiety and eating disorders go hand in hand.

Our anxiety leads to overwhelm, and many people try to deal with that overwhelm through their food. Eating disorders can range from bingeing to extreme restriction, and you want to be sure that you’re working with someone who truly understands the impact that the ED has on your brain, body, and behaviors.

When we work with anxiety, especially with our teens and college-aged students, we want to be sure that we are assessing for eating disorders - and if they are experiencing them, we want to connect them with a specialist who understands. That’s where Laura Bumberry at Partners in Wellness comes in.

We’re so excited to have interviewed Laura on today’s blog! Please read more about her expertise, and how she incorporates families into her work below.

The final week of our winter break series is here! Join us as we dive into family traditions, forgiveness and gratitude!

Here’s your recap of all of our instagram posts for this week, all tidied up for you in one easy to find spot (and if you want to see this on insta, follow us over there @CounselingWithKelsey!)

Tip #10: Celebrate Family Traditions

You know what we love about the holiday season? All of the family traditions! Spending time with your kids and making memories can be just as fun and exciting for you as it is for them.

Whether it’s matching pjs, a pancake breakfast, or watching the same holiday movies every year, every tradition is special.

And, it's always an option to add to your family tradition repertoire. Ask your kids for suggestions for new traditions and maybe those will become fast favorites. What matters most is the time you’re spending together and the family bonding that the holiday season brings!

Winter Break! Has it started for you yet? Here are some suggestions of ways to tweak your plan and make sure that you’re comfortable dealing with the unexpected.

Here’s your recap of all of our instagram posts for this week, all tidied up for you in one easy to find spot (and if you want to see this on insta, follow us over there @CounselingWithKelsey!)

Tip 7: Set Clear Expectations

Winter break is here! Or for some families, just around the corner. Now that we're actually in it, it's a great time to review and re-set clear expectations for your kids.

Talk with them about what the liked or didn't like about winter break last year.

Re-evaluate your plan and your schedule of events.

Preemptively talk with your co-parent about how you'll handle meltdowns, fights, arguments, or anxiety outbursts in the different settings you'll be in.

Go through examples of logical consequences (you don't have a crystal ball, but you do know that types of challenges your kids normally face) and help your child come up with a plan for how to avoid the things that normally get them in trouble

And while yes, we may be doing a lot of warning, it's important to feel prepared so that you can set up winter break to be a fun time for everyone (or at least to have pockets of fun moments!)

Tip 8: Option to Opt Out

Hey, friends! Do you and your kids have a million things to do? Well, as a head's up - you always have the option to opt out. ALWAYS.

Welcome to week 2 of our 12 tips for winter break series! We’re here giving you our top tips for managing winter break at home with the kids. This week is all about emotional support - what to do and how to do it so that you don’t feel 100% overwhelmed.

Here’s your recap of all of our instagram posts for this week, all tidied up for you in one easy to find spot (and if you want to see this on insta, follow us over there @CounselingWithKelsey!)

Tip 4: Create Some Space to Chill Out

Relaxing is kind of hard to do as a parent - you need to be on top of everything. But over winter break, there are so many great opportunities to just take it down a notch and chill out. And when you take the time to relax (and take care of yourself), you’ll feel so much more ready to be calm for your kids.

As a parent you have a million things on your to do list already, so I hate to add one more… But maybe it helps to view this more as an opportunity instead of a demand! When we’re calm, our kids are easier to calm.

Even better - if you are stressed, and you take the time to acknowledge that to your children and demonstrate how you're planning to calm down, you are DIRECTLY SHOWING THEM what to do when they feel overwhelmed, too. Model what you want them to do! It'll be a huge help - we promise.

Tip 5: Relax

Ok, ok, you hear all the time from us that you need to relax. But how do you do it? Come up with your own totally customizable relaxation plan! Choose one strategy from each of the categories below and boom, you've got your plan. Let's walk you through it:

You’ll be seeing a lot of us this December! Here’s your recap of all of our instagram posts for this week, all tidied up for you in one easy to find spot (and if you want to see this on insta, follow us over there @CounselingWithKelsey!)

Winter break gives you a lot of unstructured time.

For kids and teens who run a little more anxious or overwhelmed, that unstructured time can lead to stress related behaviors. Yes, there’s a lot of fun to be had with family and presents and dinners and toys… and there’s a lot of potential for overwhelm.

When your kid is overwhelmed and acting out, it can feel like they’re ruining the holidays.

And you maybe feel bad for even thinking that… but the truth is, we put a lot of time and energy into making winter break and winter holidays fun. When things don’t go according to plan, or when we have our little one throwing a huge tantrum in front of your whole extended family, it can feel overwhelming for you as well!

How do we help with this?

We set up a framework for winter break that’s easy for everyone to follow.

Anxiety and Stress Relief for Kids and Parents:

As anxiety therapists, Compassionate Counseling St. Louis works with a lot of kids, teens, and parents on ways to best reduce their stress levels. One really cool technique for this is called EFT, which stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques. Here in St. Louis, we have a great therapist who is trained and certified in this model. I’m so excited to share Alison’s answers with you today!

Why did you choose to become a Certified EFT Practitioner in St. Louis?

I've been offering EFT services online for many years now, but was really missing having face-to-face interactions with people, so have affiliated with the St. Louis Wellness Center to offer in-person individual sessions along with group tapping classes.

What kind of treatment do you provide?

I am a Certified Emotional Freedom Techniques practitioner. Emotional Freedom Techniques is usually referred to as EFT or Tapping. EFT is often called emotional acupressure. It's a highly effective form of stress relief where you use your fingers to tap on specific acupressure points on the face and the upper body to neutralize the emotional intensity associated with specific memories or events, beliefs, or fears. It's also very effective at reducing or eliminating physical symptoms since almost all pain has an emotional underpinning. EFT has now been studied a lot and more than 100 published studies show that it is at least as effective as other "gold standard" therapies including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and EMDR, and can sometimes get results more quickly. EFT quickly reduces the levels of the stress hormone cortisol, it shifts brain wave frequencies, increases heart-rate variability, decreases danger signals from the brain, and can literally change our brains so that something that was associated with a troubling emotion can be associated instead with calm. It's a true mind-body modality.

What is your fee for a 45-minute session and how is it calculated?

We work a bit differently here at Compassionate Counseling St. Louis and our process, schedule, and fees reflect that. Instead of working with dozens of kids each week in ongoing treatment, we focus on shorter term, focused work with a small group of clients.

Goal-oriented therapy:

Our goal is to get you (or your child) on track as quickly as possible with changes that maintain over time. We have a clear system for tracking progress that lets us know if we are progressing, if we are moving towards graduation, or if we need to change things up or refer out. Currently, our rates are $205 per 45-minute session. Some teens benefit from longer sessions, so we also offer a 70-minute option at times, which is at a rate of $307.50.

Yes, our fees are likely higher than you have found elsewhere.

And a big part of that is to make sure that our business can run as efficiently as possible, so that we can just focus on the kids, teens, and families we work with.

We provide specialized anxiety and anger management services, and we’re super comfortable with making sure that we’re getting you the targeted help you need - even if that means that we end up referring you out to another therapist.

Our biggest goal is helping you and your child feel better - so, our fee reflects those targeted services, the quality we provide, and all the background data analysis that goes into our counseling together.

Parent-Child Interaction Therapy

Parent Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) is based on play therapy models. It teaches parents how to work with their children in much the same way that a play therapist will build rapport and engagement. There are two components of this: Child Directed Interaction (CDI), and Parent Directed Interaction (PDI).

CDI - Learning to Become a Parent Play Therapist:

Child directed interaction is where the child leads the content of the play. This is most often what we integrate in our office as a way to build a relationship and engagement with our client.

During the CDI, or “special play time” as I often term it for kids, we play for 5 minutes. During this time, I do not take the lead at all. I let the child choose what activities they do, and the whole time, I’m engaged in the following three components:

1. Reflecting/paraphrasing the child’s speech

2. Describing the child’s behaviors

3. Specific praise of the positive behaviors seen in play

The most challenging part: not jumping in to redirect, lead the play, or make suggestions.

How we incorporate play therapy techniques for anxiety at Compassionate Counseling St. Louis:

We tailor our approach to each individual client and family we work with. That means, for some kids, we focus much more on building our anxiety and anger management skills through play.

Rather than non-directive play therapy (where therapists allow your child to free play and analyze what’s going on and themes they notice), we incorporate play in a couple of different ways.

Today, we’re talking Theraplay. In our next blog, we’ll be exploring Restorative Play. And in the following post, we’ll talk more about PCIT.

What is Theraplay?

Theraplay is a research-based type of play therapy that is focused on four main components: structure, engagement, nurture, and challenge. Per the Theraplay institute, Theraplay is “child and family therapy for building and enhancing attachment, self-esteem, trust in others, and joyful engagement.”

Every year, without failure, there are two time periods when our phones are ringing off the hook. Octoberish and Aprilish - aka parent teacher conference time.

Here we are, getting near the end of October, and once again, Compassionate Counseling is getting busy.

So, I thought we’d share a few suggestions with you, our parents, about that time of the year where you think everything is going great… and then you go “oh no.”

Because while you may think you know exactly how your child is doing at school, not every parent does. And there are a few suggestions that we can pass along to help you from feeling blindsided at parent teacher conferences. So, get ready for our suggestions on emailing teachers (ask these 3 specific questions!), talking with your kids, and making sure your emotions don’t get the best of you.

Why is an anxiety specialist talking time management?

Unsurprisingly, college students with anxiety really need help when it comes to time management. Often, they flip from task to task, and quickly become overwhelmed with trying to do everything at the same time. Or, they start to procrastinate because they don’t want to engage in this anxiety-provoking task.

Procrastination and avoidance are okay.

In fact, they’re totally normal! It’s just your body and brain’s way of trying to take care of you.

The problem is, procrastination can get really out of hand, really quickly. It can cause you to miss simple assignments and doubt your preparedness for college and the real world.

That’s why today we’re talking:

3 Top Tips for College Time Management