There are always scary things happening in the world - some very close to home, and some very far away. 

Children are often aware of these scary things on some level, so it's important to talk to them, be it about terrorism, natural disasters, protests, violence, or even fears about nuclear actions. Especially with yesterday's news in Florida, which hits so close to home for so many of us with school aged children, or loved ones in Florida - it's hard to know what to say and how to say it.

I tend to work a lot with high performing teenage girls, who may be academically successful with good involvement in extra curriculars, while simultaneously suffering from severe anxiety and perfectionist tendencies. So what's the hardest part about being a teenage girl? Well... a few things. Including: Your expectations for yourself, people who think you're self-involved, and an ever-expanding to do list. Read more in this week's post!

You're child comes home from school, and you wonder if something's wrong. They're worried about going back the next day, but they won't tell you why. It's natural to wonder if your child is the victim of bullying - but why is your child keeping it from you?

Opening up is uncomfortable.

It makes us feel vulnerable. And for children who aren't sure if they're being bullied, they may not know how to put this into words... 

Managing anxiety is tough.

And it can be hard to focus on anything else when it feels like anxiety is at the forefront of your mind. It gets in the way of schoolwork, family time, stuff with friends or romantic partners. 

If you deal with anxiety on a regular basis, you also probably know how it builds over time. Sometimes it builds slowly, until you suddenly realize that you're way too stressed out. Other times, it seems to skyrocket and you're left dealing with a very unexpected panic attack.

Everyone you know will experience a loss, death, or crisis in their life at one point or another. You absolutely will go through the same thing as well. So when you have a friend experiencing a big drastic sad change in their lives, remember to think through how you would want them to react to you, in the same situation. Read here for more tips...

Failure is really important!

I specialize in working with kids and teens who are consistently high performers in the classroom. And a lot of times, underneath it all, there's a ton of anxiety. They worry about failure. They get so focused on small things they've done wrong that they can't see the greater picture. So for people who have serious anxiety, an A- compared to an A is a huge difference. 

Failure helps you to gain perspective, and not lose the forest for the trees. 

Interested in counseling? You should make sure your therapist is willing to get your feedback.

One of the things I do as an LCSW is incorporate my clients' feedback into session. At the start of each session, I have my client tell me how their week was, how stuff has been with family and friends, how work/school has been, and an overall score for the week on a 1 to 10 scale. I want to make sure that things are staying the same or improving for my clients week to week, because that's how we can track if I'm an effective fit for them. This is called an "Outcome Rating Scale."

Step 2: Let your therapist know how THEY'RE doing. Even if that's uncomfortable...

A lot of my clients with anxiety experience panic attacks - and it's crucial to be proactive. You need a plan before the attack occurs.

What should you do? Make sure you know the signs of panic attacks. And if this isn't your first attack, you have a pretty good idea of how your body has responded to this severe anxiety before. Then...

Teens, pre-teens, even elementary school students are very aware of their bodies and appearances.

For some, they can become overly-aware of their body, and worry about being thin enough, even at a young age. This can stem for a multitude of concerns: bullying at school, well-meaning comments by relatives, or even commercials - but the impact can be huge. So what can parents do? 

Anxious or bratty kids?

Back in September, I contributed to an article entitled "Is Your Child Anxious Or Just Bratty? Experts Explain How to Tell," found on Romper, exploring the differences underpinning these two behaviors. What contributes to your child's anxiety vs. what contributes to them acting "bratty?" 

Everyone experiences anxiety sometimes. It's a normal, healthy response to stressors.

If you are able to function well, participate in activities, and live your life without anxiety getting in the way, you are living with a "normal" level of anxiety. Of course, clinicians and therapists may be more aware of the small signs of anxiety because we're trained to recognize early cues. And even if anxiety isn't getting in the way of your life or your functioning, but it still feels present more days than not, you should consider reaching out to a counselor or therapist about anxiety management strategies.

Does your teen have a hard time saying "thank you?" Do you ever wonder if your child appreciates anything that you do? Curious to hear more about building gratitude skills? Well, you've come to the right place! With Thanksgiving right around the corner, this week's blog is focused on helping your child or teen build up their own gratitude skills.

You don't want your teenager home and in their room every night, but you also want to be sure that they're still checking in with you and getting your support when needed. You don't want to chauffeur your teen to every meeting, friend hangout, or movie, and at the same time you want to be sure they're not out late every night or missing out on homework.

So how do you find this balance? Focus on the skills building.

Everyone has a limit.

We can handle the anxiety, the frustration, the stress that comes up in our everyday life, until we just can't handle it anymore. We reach our tipping point. Our calm and collected bodies and brains give way to big outbursts, yelling, screaming, maybe even cursing out our friends or parents. We're no longer able to tolerate what's going on. We've passed the threshold of our "Window of Tolerance." So the question becomes: What can you handle?

As a therapist, I coach a lot of parents on how to take the positive perspective on their child. Your kid called their teacher a b****? Well at least we know she can express herself! Your four year old had a melt down at the store and then told you it was because they were sad? Good for them on recognizing that emotion! Positive praise is so crucial for increasing compliance in your children. You want to be able to take that outside perspective. But to increase rule following behaviors in young children, it is important to find effective consequences along with positive rewards...   

We can't always predict when there will be a change to our schedule, our plans, or our life. But it's important to recognize that pre-schoolers may have a particularly hard time with changes both expected and unexpected. Read below for a few tips on how to set your preschooler up for success. 

Bullying in schools is common, and you may even be asking your children about it a lot. But what if your child won't tell you that they're being bullied? I recently collaborated on a Romper article, 7 Subtle Ways Your Kid Is Trying to Tell You They're Being Bullied. I find with younger kids especially that it's difficult for them to tell their parents outright that they're being bullied. While a lot of kids in class might say, "so and so is bullying me" or "stop being a bully!" they are usually talking about kids being rude or annoying. For children who are truly being bullied, meaning repeated physical, verbal, or emotional attacks, it's often very uncomfortable for them to acknowledge what's going on.

Kids and teens with anxiety, anger, or avoidance don't always volunteer information about their day. They may provide you with a few vague pieces of information about how school went, concerns they had with friends, or problems at class - or, they might not. It's helpful to have tools to actually hear more about their day. In this week's blog, I share some of the prompts that I often use in session to get kids and teens to dig a little deeper than just telling me "I'm fine." Click below to read more...