Learn more about neuropsychology for anxiety in St. Louis!

Sometimes parents need more than self care and getting support with “developing strategies and skills to cope” is super helpful!

Parenthood is, no doubt, one of life’s most intense bags of extreme emotional highs and lows…What we may not anticipate, however, is the difficulty of handling our own emotions during our child’s most difficult moments.

How can you prepare for school this year?

It’s hard to plan for anything these days and you might notice feelings of anxiety or overwhelm more often than you have before. With school back in session, your kids are likely feeling this too. School looks very different from years past, so the typical anxieties you might be used to managing have likely changed as well.

Give yourself time to adjust.

We all get used to certain routines and schedules and for a lot of families, going back to school in the fall is a part of a schedule that everyone is familiar with. This year though, you might be adjusting to virtual learning, shorter class days or weeks, smaller class sizes, etc., and those changes can bring a lot of anxiety.

When your child is angry, anxious, or easily overwhelmed, you do your best to support your child - and it’s important to get the support you need too!

Today, as part of our Helping Professionals Interview Series, we are excited to share our interview with Stacy McCann, MSW, LCSW. Stacy guides parents to better understand how their own unique histories effect their parenting and how to use that knowledge to strengthen their relationships with their kids.

I work closely with parents of kids as young as 4, and I often have parents ask me if their expectations are too high. Should I expect my 5 year old to help with chores? Should my four year old know not to do that? Each child is different, and you will end up shaping your expectations around your children as they grow and develop. But below are a few unrealistic expectations for children that I've seen or heard in my practice:

When does anxiety in children become a medical concern?You may notice that your child is a worrier. When you schedule a babysitter, your kid has prepared a list of interview questions to ask the sitter before being ok with it. When you're 5 minutes late to picking them up, they're in tears. They need to walk through any potential problems and come up with five solutions whenever faced with a new situation. You're happy to help! But when is it too much?

Anxiety disorders are a huge concern in college.

Stress disorders, self-harm, overwhelm and depression all become big concerns in college due to a couple of different factors: age, brain development, and the stress and independence that go hand in hand with starting college.

And rather than you being able to monitor any big changes in your student, you’re not there.

You only hear and know as much as they want to tell you. Whether you have serious concerns, or you just feel like you’re out of the loop, it’s tough to parent your college student and feel like you’re actually having an impact.

Parents will often reach out to me about their new college students, sharing concerns like:

• My college student never calls!

• I’m worried my college student has anxiety and depression.

• I’m not sure if my college student can manage stress.

• Is my college student depressed/anxious/too angry/too overwhelmed?

• And the ultimate concern: I don’t know how to help my college student deal with everything that’s going on.

It’s tough to figure out how to parent and deal with these concerns when your student no longer lives in your house. And even if you’ve noticed signs of anxiety in the past, the game plan can be so different when your child is in college vs. when they were at home.

So what can you do?

When your child is angry, anxious, or easily overwhelmed, you do your best as a parent - and sometimes it feels like too much. That’s where parent coaching comes in.

Parent coaching is a way for you to get direct feedback and advice on how best to manage your child’s behaviors and emotions, along with recognizing the family dynamic. It’s like having a really supportive therapist just for your parenting. And we have a fabulous resource online and in St. Louis - Nicole Schwarz!

For some kids with anxiety and anger management, individual therapy is the best bet. We can work individually to help them build the skills they need to manage their emotions before they feel too big.

For other kids, individual therapy helps, but it’s not enough on its own. That’s where parent coaching comes in.

Read below to learn more about how Nicole works with parent coaching tailored to parenting styles.

I often refer people who are parenting anxious children to Nicole, because of her understanding and empathetic approach. I’m so excited to share this interview with you all!

Why did you choose to become a Parent Coach in St. Louis?

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Parent Coach. I started my career as a therapist working with children, teens, and families because I wanted to provide kids with tools and support early in their development. However, over time, I realized my favorite way to support kids was to empower their parents. I no longer provide mental health therapy, instead focusing on giving parents tools and education through Parent Coaching.

What kind of treatment do you provide?

I provide Parent Coaching which is personalized support, education, strategies, and encouragement to help you parent well through the difficult stages of child development. My coaching philosophy is rooted in Positive or Respectful Parenting, which focuses on brain research, connection, and teaching - rather than consequences or punishments.

So, you’ve thought about it for days, weeks, maybe even months and you’ve decided your kid needs therapy. Now what? How do you talk to your child or teen about attending a therapy session? Read on to learn what strategies work best when talking to your child, and I will also answer FAQs about preparing your child or teen for their first counseling session. 

I worry that if I bring up therapy or counseling, it might make my child or teen feel uncomfortable. 

This is a common fear, and something that can hold parents back from taking a really important step forward. The bottom line is, if you’re wondering if your child or teen needs counseling, you need to start figuring out next steps. If you’re uncomfortable and on the fence about talking with your child about therapy, you can always reach out to a therapist first, to hear more about their process and what they recommend.

After touching base with a therapist, if they feel like a good fit, then you can let your child know, “Here’s what we’re going to try out.” Point out what you’re noticing, and give them time to respond. They may feel like they don’t have a problem, or they may hate the idea of having to see a therapist. That’s ok. Let them know that they have to try it out a few sessions. The more we do something, the easier it feels.