Teen motivation is at an all time low.

For everyone, here in 2021. COVID is still happening. We’re still worried about the novel coronavirus. We’re still locked down. Schools are still mostly virtual. Meet ups are still mostly online. There’s a ton of stress, anxiety, and burnout roiling around for everyone.

So how on earth can you still be motivated, as a teen, during this pandemic?

Well, there are a few options - but it’s important, throughout this blog post, to remember that you can’t expect yourself to be as motivated as usual. Burnout is to be expected.

Finding a way to be a motivated student, even with anxiety and burnout:

We need to figure out how to still get enough done, in a good enough way - rather than focusing on getting everything done, and doing everything perfectly - a common issue for teens with anxiety.

Below, you’ll find tons of intervention ideas from therapists in the field, who specifically work with kids and teens, and who deeply recognize that things are different right now.

Should my child meet with a child psychologist?

Different children have different needs when it comes to meeting with a psychologist vs. a psychiatrist vs. a therapist or counselor. I reached out to my colleague Dr. Kezia Coleman, and she graciously shared information on her practice here in St. Louis.

As a psychologist, Kezia provides both psychological testing (to official diagnose you or your child with what is going on from a psychological perspective), educational testing (to provide an educational diagnosis that is used when creating IEP’s or school behavioral intervention plans), along with providing clinical therapy to select families.

Why did you choose to become a psychologist in St. Louis?

I have wanted to be a psychologist since I took AP Psychology in high school! Yes, I wanted to help people (cliché, I know), but I also enjoy supporting people as they navigate difficult situations and events; life is difficult, and I know I would not be where I am today without help! I decided to stay in St. Louis after completing a yearlong postdoctoral fellowship through UMSL, after falling in love with the STL diversity, people, and food!

What kind of treatment do you provide? 

I provide comprehensive psychological and educational assessments for children and young adults. I also provide individual and family therapy, generally using a cognitive-behavioral approach.

One of the most important components of stress management and a busy schedule is prioritizing.

A lot of the anxious, perfectionist teens and college students I work with feel overwhelmed by the amount of things to get done during the busy school year.

Rather than letting all of those tasks feel insurmountable, you can break down what needs to be done and when. Figure out the steps needed to reach your goal, and keep those steps really specific and time-sensitive (such as, "I need to research 10 articles for this upcoming history paper by Tuesday," vs. just "I need to start work on my history paper.")

Productivity is crucial, but so is restorative time.

It's also important for teens and college students to build in lots of self-regulation and coping time. So, schedule it in.

Along with breaking down homework into manageable, tasks, add 5 or 10 minutes of a guided meditation, walk outside, or listening to calm music.

Sunday scaries and college go hand in hand.

What are Sunday Scaries? That sense of dread before the work or school week starts back up again.

Some dread about the end of the weekend is common, but if it’s having a profound impact on you, it should be looked at

Stomach aches and headaches and anxiety in kids:

When does anxiety in children become a medical concern?

You may notice that your child is a worrier. When you schedule a babysitter, your kid has prepared a list of interview questions to ask the sitter before being ok with it. When you're 5 minutes late to picking them up, they're in tears. They need to walk through any potential problems and come up with five solutions whenever faced with a new situation. You're happy to help! But when is it too much?

Anxiety is a concern when it gets in the way of "typical" functioning.

While some kids are more prone to worries than others, anxiety becomes a concern when it impacts their day-to-day functioning. So, instead of being in tears that you're five minutes late, they've had a huge blow-up and are waiting for you in the principal's office. Or, walking in to school on the first day, they're paralyzed and can't move from your side. They have trouble maintaining friendships. They consistently experience stomachaches and headaches, due to their ongoing stress.

Generalized anxiety disorder is the diagnostic name for kids, teens, and adults who meet the criteria. Oftentimes people will say they have anxiety, or general anxiety, without quite meaning that they meet all of the criteria. You can find a screening tool* for kids and for adults put together by the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (*which gives you information, but you will want to meet with a counselor, social worker, psychologist, or psychiatrist for a true screening). 

What makes anxiety a disorder?

Generally speaking, an anxiety disorder gets in the way of your everyday life, and is harder to manage. It comes up in multiple environments, so home and school, or work and home. 

Physical symptoms of anxiety - your body clues:

This week!

We’re looking at cooking together, family traditions, and gratitude.

Tip 10: Cook Together

When you cook with your kids, you teach them fundamental skills - and you get this great opportunity to teach yourself patience as well. Make something fun, and take deep breaths when they spill the flour everywhere.

When you cook together, you provide this possibility of your child having a positive memory forever. I still remember my dad letting me cut up the apples for a Thanksgiving pie when I was 8. Or my grandma letting me bake cakes with friends in her kitchen during highschool. Small things have a big impact.

Tip 7: Read Together

Some of my fondest memories of my grandmother are when we’d sit down together on the couch, teacups in hand (lots of milk and sugar in mine), and she’d read to me. Brothers Grimm or Roald Dahl or something she’d heard about from her work as a librarian. I’m 30 and I still remember the smell of her clean shirt and how safe and comfortable I felt.

Reading is a simple way to build connection with your kid. We’re not in charge of what memories really stick with them. So why not provide as many opportunities for positive, peaceful memories as you can?

Tip 8: Arts and Crafts

This month I’m sharing 12 Tips to help parents manage behaviors (and still have fun!) over winter break!

Winter break gives you a lot of unstructured time.

For kids and teens who run a little more anxious or overwhelmed, that unstructured time can lead to stress related behaviors. Yes, there’s a lot of fun to be had with family and presents and dinners and toys… and there’s a lot of potential for overwhelm.

When your kid is overwhelmed and acting out, it can feel like they’re ruining the holidays.

And you maybe feel bad for even thinking that… but the truth is, we put a lot of time and energy into making winter break and winter holidays fun. When things don’t go according to plan, or when we have our little one throwing a huge tantrum in front of your whole extended family, it can feel overwhelming for you as well!

How do we help with this?

We set up a framework for winter break that’s easy for everyone to follow.

Tip 1: Prepare

Tip 2: Set Clear Expectations

Tip 3: Time Management

Perfectionist kids, teens, and college students have trouble ignoring their perfectionistic tendencies and focusing on the challenge at hand.

Our brains prevent us from fully engaging because they get so worried about what a poor grade, poor score, or poor performance means about us. Many times, the kids and teens I work with will engage in an anxious spiral. It usually looks something like:

• If I get less than an A on this test, that means I have a bad grade

• If I have a bad grade, that means I’m doing poorly in this class

• I might even fail this class

• And other classes

• And I’ll barely graduate highschool

• And I won’t get into the college I want

• And I won’t be able to go to medical school

• Which means I’ll never be a doctor

• My life will be ruined

But when we take a step back, we can see that the anxiety spiral is little bit out of control.

There’s no way, when we use logic, that getting less than an A on your test means that you’re life is ruined. Our anxious minds just tell us this because they want us to be prepared for the worst case scenario.