St. Louis Child and Teen Counseling with Kayla Shane, PLPC of Compassionate Counseling St. Louis

We are so excited to share with you that St. Louis therapist Kayla Shane, PLPC had joined Compassionate Counseling St. Louis!

Kayla Shane, PLPC

Kayla brings experience working in schools, along with a thoughtful, down-to-earth approach with kids and teens. She has a special interest in working with anxiety, overwhelm and perfectionism, and using CBT strategies in a way that actually clicks. She’s also under Compassionate Counseling St. Louis senior therapist Molly’s direct supervision, so clients benefit from that added layer of support and expertise.

You can read below to hear more from Kayla about what drew her to become a St. Louis counselor, her approach, and how you can work with her!

Why did you decide to become a St. Louis counselor?

It gave me the opportunity to spend my life helping others realize their potential in a way that I find interesting and fulfilling.

What's your favorite part about counseling?

I love building rapport and seeing clients' reactions to seeing strategies work in real time. Giving people/families tools to improve their lives is very rewarding.

What about a potential client really makes your heart leap with excitement?

I get excited to work with clients experiencing any kind of anxiety, self-doubt, or overwhelm.

Can you share more about the overlap that you notice between anxiety, anger management, and conduct issues.

Anxiety, anger, and conduct issues can be interconnected and exacerbated by each other in many cases. Anxiety often begins with fear or worry, and when those feelings become overwhelming, they can trigger anger as a secondary emotion.

Anger frequently serves as a defense mechanism, a way of covering up or protecting against the vulnerability that comes with fear. A good analogy I like to use with clients is the mother bear who looks furious when her cub is threatened; the visible anger is real, but it’s rooted in underlying fear and anxiety.

When anger surfaces in children and adolescents, it can often look like defiance, tantrums, or disruptive behaviors. These conduct issues are typically the outward expression of an internal struggle. This can also present as a cycle in which the disruptive behaviors are followed by shame which only leads to more anxiety and thus to more anger, etc.

If we focus only on the external behaviors, progress tends to be limited. But if we peel back the layers and address the underlying anxiety and fear, we can reduce anger responses and the behavior problems that stem from them.

What does your typical first session look like?

My first session is usually an intake, and I adapt it to the age of the client and the level of family involvement that is appropriate. The structure may vary depending on whether I am meeting with a child, a teen, or an adult, but my primary focus is always on understanding the client’s concerns and making sure they feel seen and heard from the very beginning.

I start by asking open-ended questions to get to know the client, using “how come” questions rather than “why” questions and make sure to assess for safety concerns, including suicidality, during the first session. Beyond those essentials, I like to incorporate two additional elements into my intakes.

First, I ask about strengths and protective factors, such as what they like most about themselves, what they feel they do well, or what others might appreciate about them.

Second, I try to get a sense of how they learn best, whether they connect more with visual examples, role-playing, metaphors, or hands-on strategies. This helps me tailor my approach so that interventions and skills are presented in ways that resonate most effectively with them. I often adapt the more I get to know my client, but this is a good start.

My first session is about more than just gathering data. It’s about creating a comfortable, nonjudgmental environment, beginning to establish trust, and ensuring that the client leaves feeling both understood and supported.

What do you love to do in your free time?

I have many, many hobbies. To keep it brief, I like to do pottery, spend time outdoors with my cat, read, and exercise.

Want to work with Kayla?

If you are seeing your child struggle and want to give them support and the tools to learn how to manage those big feelings, Compassionate Counseling St. Louis is here to help. Schedule your free 15-minute consultation call to learn more about the support available.

Curious to learn more about parent coaching and child and teen therapy for anxiety and anxiety-driven anger? Reach out to us at hello@compassionatecounselingstl.com. As child anxiety experts, we love working with kids, teens, college students and parents to help manage their anxiety, stress, and anger. Compassionate Counseling St. Louis is located in Clayton, MO and works with families by offering both in-person counseling and online therapy throughout St. Louis, Creve Couer, Ballwin, Town and Country, Brentwood, and Ladue. We also provide online therapy Missouri -wide to teens and college students. You can set up your free consult, on our consultation page.