Here you are, preparing for the big move: COLLEGE.

And this year is going to be different. You're excited about your coursework, you’re jazzed about meeting new people your age (yes, I'm the kind of lame therapist who uses words like "jazzed"), and you're pumped (also, "pumped") about all of the exciting new opportunities and challenges coming your way.

You've got goals! And plans! So how do you actually follow through on them in college?

Have SMART goals: make sure your resolution is specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely.

Summer's over, yet again...

And the end of summer can lead to some blue feelings, especially for the start of the school year (highschool, college, even graduate school). And while there can be excitement at the start of the new school year, it can be hard to deal with the anxiety.

Typically, the teens and college students I work with tell me they worry about a more busy schedule, more expectations put on them by parents and teachers, or just knowing that there's less time to fit in impromptu socializing with friends. 

What are some ways you could combat the anxiety and sadness that comes with summer ending? Read more here…

Before opening my private practice...

I worked in schools for a few years, and would often get paired with kids referred for anger management. They'd lose their temper, would knock over desks or run out of the room, and teachers were always at their wit's end.

Of course when that kid got called down to my office, they thought they were in trouble.

It took a few sessions for them to start realizing that I was on their side. And once they became more comfortable, they were willing to start opening up about all the different emotions they experienced. We'd build up relaxation strategies for these different strong feelings, and oftentimes just being told that they weren't the only kid like this helped them to feel better and more in control. One challenge, though, was getting parents and teachers on board to help them see and focus on the positive changes, rather than just the negative behaviors still occurring…

Is generalized anxiety disorder the same as general anxiety? What is the best way to treat children with anxiety disorders?

Generalized anxiety disorder is the diagnostic name for kids, teens, and adults who meet the criteria. Oftentimes people will say they have anxiety, or general anxiety, without quite meaning that they meet all of the criteria. You can find a screening tool* for kids and for adults put together by the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (*which gives you information, but you will want to meet with a counselor, social worker, psychologist, or psychiatrist for a true screening)…

Some kids are a little embarrassed to have to go to therapy…

but nine times out of ten they become more comfortable with it after the initial session. On top of that, in my professional experience, younger children are super excited to go to counseling because they view it as an opportunity to play and hang out one-on-one with a safe grown up, and through counseling they learn the skills and tools needed to help manage their anxiety.

Stress Is Contagious

This week I have my top three tips to avoid catching someone else's stress. Because, a lot of times, it can feel like anxiety and stress loves company.

1. You have your space, I have mine:

Stress can rub off on you if you let it. Just remember that you are only in charge of yourself, and that means you have this great opportunity to take a step back and focus on you. Sometimes you may want to literally take a step back and go to your office, or take a quick break outside to reconnect with yourself.

…

"From your perspective, what exactly constitutes anger management in children?"

Anger management means helping kids find the tools needed to manage their anxiety, frustration, and temper. I typically utilize CBT to help kids figure out how their thoughts impact their feelings, how their feelings lead to different behaviors, and how they can change that cycle.

Why do kids immediately think the worst about a situation or another child's or teen's actions?

Kids and teens often jump to the worst case scenario when their minds run a little anxious. It’s a self-preservation technique on overdrive. Their anxious mind assumes “so and so pushed me on purpose,” or “those kids laughing in class must be laughing at me,” which leads to a fight, flight, or freeze response.

Stress responses impact emotional and behavioral health in a few ways. 

Physiologically, a stress response leads to increased heart rate, breath rate, pupil dilation, and muscle tension. Your child’s adrenal glands are pumping to prepare them for a fight, flight, or freeze response. It’s a healthy activation. 

What happens with repeated stressors?

But when this stress response gets activated again and again, it becomes maladaptive on the body’s long term health. A higher amount of adverse childhood experiences (stressors) is linked to a greater chance of cancer, drug use, stroke and heart attacks. 

Unsurprisingly, college students with anxiety really need help when it comes to time management. Often, they flip from task to task, and quickly become overwhelmed with trying to do everything at the same time. So, below you'll find a few tips. Please reach out with follow up questions.

5 Tips for Time Management (click to read more!)

In part 1, we focus on why it's important to cut down on tech use.

Anxiety often leads to self-medicating behaviors, and one of the biggest behaviors for kids and teens is social media usage.

What happens physically/mentally when you quit social media or go on a tech cleanse?

Going on a cleanse from media it’s pretty stressful. When you’re looking at curbing an addictive behavior, the first few days are the hardest. Then it gets easier, and then it gets harder again when your brain catches up and realizes that this isn’t just a temporary measure.

Because I specialize in anxiety, I know how frequently addictive behaviors can co-occur.

I even have clients on my schedule specifically because of their media addiction, with anxiety as the underlying concern. So, I was so happy to talk with Huffington Post earlier this year on "going dry for a month" regarding tech, social media, and smartphones.

The reason addictive behaviors can occur so frequently is because anxiety is tough to deal with. And an anxious mind feels better when it’s distracting itself with media, sugar, or alcohol. All can be self-medicating behaviors.

Often, the kids and teens I work with inherit or learn a portion of their perfectionism from one or both parents.

There’s of course the biological component of anxiety, and then the environmental. So if you have a perfectionist parent, you’re much more likely to engage in perfectionist tendencies as well.

That perfectionism often gets in the way of school performance, turning assignments in on time, or feeling incapable of handling unexpected stressors. So, how can we help?

Picture this...

You're in bed, finally ready to sleep after a massive crush of end-of-semester projects. You're exhausted. You're so eager to just close your eyes and rest. And instead of resting... boom. Anxiety.

As an anxiety specialist who loves to work with high achieving highschool and college students, you'd expect most of my session time to be focused on anxiety management strategies.

Which is definitely true. That is a big component of my work. But the fact of the matter is, even when you have anxiety, even if that anxiety is overwhelming... you have a whole life outside of that anxiety, too. 

So, sometimes we talk about how to handle a panic attack, and sometimes we talk about why your boyfriend sucks.

Both are important to your well-being. 

The more tips the better, right?

Mindfulness, yoga, and scheduling it in. Relaxation is great, but it's important to practice throughout the day. When you operate with anxiety, the baseline of your stress level is typically pretty high. You may have a small "window of tolerance," meaning stressors that seem small to others feel very big to you. So, let's look at my top three recommendations, which I share with all of my clients.

For anxious kids, teens, and college students, it can be very difficult to fall asleep at night.

Not falling asleep means being exhausted the next morning. And guess what happens the next morning? You're too tired to adequately respond to all of the stressors during your day. It's a vicious cycle - and it's super, super common. 

One of the ways to relax is to build up a regular relaxation practice.

This means incorporating regular exercise and healthy eating ALONG with relaxation practice, including breathing exercises, muscle relaxation, and visualization.

People pleasers unite! 

Unsurprisingly, people with anxiety in general tend to have social anxiety as well. And that need to be liked, that shaping of your behaviors and reactions to try and cultivate a positive response from another, is seen across the lifespan.

Some of this is healthy, such as matching tone or engaging in receptive communication, and some of this is unhealthy, like when we feel that we need approval in order to get on with our day.